Inside Annie's Head

From over at I'm Starting Over - mediation, fear and reality...

"Mediation brings out the worst in everyone.

I’m sure dealing with attorneys is even worse. I don’t know how many people I’ve talked to, who got their divorces through attorneys, and they end up screaming at each other and racking up huge bills. Then years later, they’re friends and they get together and they’re like “What were we thinking?!!!”

So I guess in that perspective, mediation isn’t so bad. But it still brings up fears. Lots of them. How am I going to take care of myself? Who will be there for me? I’m sure I’ll be fine but…. What if …. What if…

This is reality now, hitting hard. Documents. Legal documents. Cold and spelled out.

So many fears come up. The process just brings everything to a head and you end up getting all upset and it’s not because the other person is really that big a jerk - it’s just fear.

I woke up so tired this morning. I didn’t know why, but I was exhausted. After the mediation session, my future ex told me he’d been dreading this day for weeks.

We’ve worked things out to ok satisfaction and all that remains are some have paperwork technicalities to adjust.

Right now, I’m just sad. But I’ve got to snap out of it because in an hour I’ll be teaching singing and dancing to a room full of 6-year-olds.

Stone cold reality. Hits like a brick."

Another case for the mediator... the first day of the rest of her life for Annie.