Well I couldn't admit to knowing all seven, could I?
Message From: Geoff Sharp
To: Victoria Pynchon, Mediator LA
Sent: Monday 28 April, 7.30am
Subject: Got 2 for me?
Vickie,
I'm doing a post on 'Seven Habits of Highly Useless Mediators' and I'm two short.
What would be at the top of your list?
From: Victoria Pynchon
To: Geoff Sharp
Subject: Got 2 for me?
1. shuttles numbers back and forth without a rationale
2. says trial is uncertain and expensive
3. gives an evaluation before the parties ask for it
4. tries to muscle the weaker party into giving up more than it should
5. tells both sides good news they each want to hear
6. gives up when the parties reach impasse
more?
Victoria Pynchon, Esq.
From: Geoff Sharp
To: Victoria Pynchon
Subject:Got 2 for me?
Hey, I do all those at least twice each mediation!
Great, I will credit you.
G
From: Victoria Pynchon
To: Geoff Sharp
Subject:Got 2 for me?
You DO NOT!
5 comments:
you're one short of 7!
It's coming! With about ten zillion others for company
I am not a mediator, but an interpreter who witnessed too many role-plays. Can I add a few? Well... interrupting the parties or not letting the parties speak at all; asking about the problem that brought them there in greater detail than necessary or rephrasing the parties' statements in a very uninspired way, especially when together(You're saying that your husband is a bastard and he cheated on you). Do you need some more?
Wonderful stuff! More? Yeah, bring them on.
More:
- Having eye-contact with only one party
- Acting like a judge (ex. hitting the table with the pen or the fist in order to calm the parties)
- Start the first separate session with the second party by directly conveying the first party's offer
- Falling into the trap of responding to questions from the parties like: "What do you think of that? Wasn't I right?" or "Wouldn't you have done the same if you were me?"
- After several hopeless and desperate separate sessions the mediator keeps saying: "I'm very optimistic that you can settle here today. "
- Announcing each action to be taken: "Now I'm going to summarize", etc.
- Using a highly specialized terminology: caucus, separate session etc.
And a funny ex.: two neighbors, a party, drinks, a punch in the eye...
Mediator: I understand from your neighbor that you were drunk
Party: No, I was not!
M: But it was your wife's birthday party, it was normal to have had a few drinks.
P: No, I hadn't have any drinks at all!
M: Come on!
P: BUT I WAS NOT DRUNK!!!
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